In my first blog about tantra, I talked a lot about what tantra was “not.” The idea of tantra has become quite distorted. Tantra is not nuru massage, it is not kinky sex, and it is not a “happy ending.” It is not “sacred spot” massage or eye gazing. Westerners especially have trouble understanding the basic foundation of tantra because as a whole, we also have distorted ideas about “masculine” and “feminine” energies. Taking the time to understand these aspects of our being is the first step in understanding what tantra is about at its core.
We all have an “inner masculine” and “inner feminine.” Some immediately get uncomfortable with this idea because we equate these terms with “man” and “woman”. Let’s get away from that notion and explore these concepts from a greater perspective. So, if you have trouble with this, for now just open your mind to the idea that we are all born with masculine and feminine energy. Men are typically born with a little more masculine and women with more feminine. Nowadays, genders are more fluid and men may experience more feminine energy and vice versa.
Tantra at its core is about the “inner marriage” of the masculine and feminine energies. It is about the balancing and unification of the masculine and feminine, sometimes visualized as two snakes spiraling up through our main energy centers (chakras) and meeting at the third eye center. If we want to bring these frequencies into balance, we must first heal the “wounds” of the masculine and feminine. This requires us to understand a little more about how these wounds express themselves.
The divine feminine is associated with creativity, inspiration, fluidity, acceptance, adaptability, compassion, and nurturing. It is also known as “shakti,” or the full potential of our power. The feminine aspect has often been viewed as “weak” because there is a softness to this frequency, yet there is also a strong warrior aspect….resilience, endurance, the strength to move mountains.
We have come to fear the feminine frequency. It has been embedded in our DNA. As such, the feminine energy has become “disempowered.” The wounded form of this frequency plays out as the “victim”…the feeling of lack of control, of everything “happening to us”, of being treated unfairly. Being “rigid” or “eager to please,” “wishy-washy,” or incapable of expressing our creativity are all symptoms of the feminine being out of balance.
When this frequency is in its fullest expression, we are connected and listening to our bodies and to our inner wisdom and we are compassionate and able to feel our feelings. We are able to be “vulnerable,” which is simply the power to be raw, real, and authentic from a centered loving place.
The divine masculine is associated with holding space, creating a safe container, loving boundaries, and protection. This frequency is the “doer” and directs, asserts, and makes the space for the feminine to express itself. As the feminine became disempowered, the masculine became the oppressor and began to dominate our existence. The distortion of this frequency as a whole is seen in the aggression, violence, and corruption taking place in our world today.
On an individual level, the imbalanced masculine is seen in “over-doing,” the perfectionist, and using power to gain control. Many of us feel the need to be “in control” at all times, and this leads to manipulation of our time, our emotions, and others. Women will use sex to get what they want and men will use sex to assert power and dominance. Pornography is a direct result of the wounded masculine playing out as it often depicts both men and women being dominated and controlled. It has completely distorted sacred sexuality and divine union.
Balancing and healing these wounds is the journey of our lifetime. Many of us are starting to recognize that we are not in a healthy state of balance. As we heal the masculine, we also heal the feminine, and vice versa. They are intertwined. Balancing give and take, directing and flowing, asserting and allowing, doing and feeling, and talking and listening all bring these frequencies closer to the unification and the return to wholeness. Trust and surrender is key.
As we heal these wounds, we are able to move into sacred union with ourselves and with others. Our relationships are based on trust and love, rather than control and fear. We are able to be authentic, to feel our feelings, and to be “sensual” beings….beings that sense and experience fully everything life has to offer. We begin to attract balanced and whole individuals into our lives and we radiate the light of our being out into the world. We start to move into the flow of abundance and open ourselves up to greater joy, wealth, health, and love.
Tantra is ancient technology. It gives us tools to transform and remember who we are. It illuminates the path to h-OM-e. When we use this technology to balance the sacred polarities of the masculine and feminine frequencies, we attain great power, and learn how to exist in the divine present moment called the “here and now.” We return to wholeness, to love, and to the One.
About the photo: This is part of a tapestry made by a Peruvian abuelita in Tarapoto. Shamans are the tantrikas of the South. You will see these images over and over again across the world, used in many spiritual paths.
