A recent truth...
Updated: Jul 31, 2019
I want to open this blog by sharing part of an email exchange with a fellow Yogini regarding the traumatic experiences women can often have with men. These experiences do not have to be traumatic in the sense that it comes across as “violence” in any way, it can be very subtle and the trauma we experience can be difficult to understand.
My fellow Yogini friend had stored a lot of trauma around her first sexual experience with a man. He was not "violent", but she felt aggression, a void of any kind of compassion or mutual respect, and a complete lack of a connection with him and a complete lack of concern on his part for her well-being. This stayed with her for many years and resulted in her completely shutting down and disconnecting from her own sacred femininity.
“From the time we are young girls, we are taught to have shame around our Yonis and our magical creative body processes. From there, because so many men are no longer taught how to treat a woman properly, we often subject ourselves to men for their pleasure, often because we think it is how we will get them to love us (at least that was my story for a long time.)
I want to be clear that we must have compassion and forgiveness for these men. It is very sad that they have not been taught about the Goddess and the sacred Yoni and the temple to the Goddess. They take their shoes off and bow to enter a regular temple yet they don't take the time to acknowledge they are entering the gateway to Satchitananda (also called the Yoniverse) when they enter us!
Because most men haven't been taught, and neither have women, we are unfortunately caught in this cycle.
Remember that we are all doing the best we can. Men, especially men from certain cultures, have never been taught the first thing about Sacred Union. They come from cultures who are so scared of sex and the Yoni that the only way they learn is from porn and other misguided men. It's a disaster. They are so scared of not being good at sex that they cover it up with aggressive behavior and mimic what they see in porn. It's unfortunate, but true.
The man you were with did the best he could. We must put him in the light of compassion. He was taught to behave that way by very misguided people and nobody was around to teach him the right ways. He is a product of his environment....and everyone is responsible for his behavior. If we are not taught properly, how will we ever know?”
In many ways, this says it all. I don’t like to get too wordy in these blogs. I want the essence to come through.
Our sexual “dys-function” as a whole is quite apparent. I tend to exist in sex-positive communities where both men and women understand deeply Sacred Union and have a deep respect for energetic space and how to navigate that between one another. I also understand I often live in a bubble where everyone has dedicated themselves to this work and they are very good at it.
I hope this bubble gets bigger. I welcome all of you to contemplate where the above correspondence might be “truth” for you. I welcome you into a space where we can explore this, where we can identify old patterns and traumas release them so we can be clear and honoring with ourselves and others…it’s absolutely possible!
Haux, Amen, and Aho!